| So... I need to make a decision. Do I take classes my last quarter at the U of C? I want to take a business class, but that would mean that I could not finish the class before senior week cause gsb supposedly doesn't offer early ("senior") finals. I know, it's shitty... But what can you do. If not a bschool class I'd take game theory. It's an interesting subject afterall...
But so much of me just wants to take the next quarter off. It's not like I'd be doing nothing all quarter. I have a show to direct. I have work to go to. I have a BA to write (yeah... 0 pages done... something tells me this "ba" thing is just never going to happen... which is entirely OK cause I am double majoring and one of my majors doesn't need this BA bull shit). I still have coup shit to organize. It's not like I'll just be sitting on my ass all quarter--as attractive as that sounds.
Something must give. I must quit something. I can quit classes without real repurcussions, so why not quit classes.
In other news. I took the gmat, did well despite my thinking I had failed the test (as I was taking the test--the test has instant results). So, hopefully I get into the GSB and in 2-3 years I return to this Chicago wasteland called hyde park... I know. Not the most enviable oportunity, but a bird in the hand. Plus my acceptance into the GSB would not be a full committment.
I also hate spring. Damn seasonal allergies. | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment   |
| | Current Music: | John Denver - Rhymes and Reasons | | Time: | 12:47 am |
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| i know i havn't written in absolutely forever.
well. i can't say much has changed. all i can say is i don't know where's the rhyme, where's the reason.
i acquired some john denver the other day. i got it in the reg. and i played a song or two and then started crying.
i can't sleep though i tried to go to sleep about 45 minutes ago.
fuck.
it would be foolish to say that i am in any way old, yet it seems that everything is a chain, a waterfall. when one thing ends, the next begins and it's not like you can stop or you want to stop.
idiotic ramblings.
i've been getting the strangest feelings of deja vu. fleetingly, and often after the fact. i'll realize that whatever has just happened definitely happened to me in a dream.
and i can't say that i don't believe in anything of that sort. i do believe in some form of mysticism--whether christian or pagan, i'm not sure.
i'll walk in the rain by your side
maybe writing wasn't the right idea. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| It's times like these I somewhat wish my family still lived in the suburbs of Chicago. I want to be 45 minutes from home rather than about 24 hours from "home." I want to have a snowy christmas rather than a warm Chicago spring. I want to drive myself around rather than be driven around. I want to know somebody beyond my immediate family--anybody who won't drive me insane.
I must admit I'm somewhat happy that this quarter's work is more or less over. That said, while I have increasingly desired to go home over breaks, I still have not gotten to the point where I would prefer going home over somehow staying here and doing whatever I want. Time is moving forward. I know, it's cliched, but it seems to me everything is really made of cliches, no matter how hard I try to avoid them or deign myself better than them. So I'll be heading home and into the deep blue "free."
Free or startlingly scared. I'm going to Paris this winter, and that alone doesn't quite scare me. How much will happen in Chicago, however, in my absence? How much will I change? I realize my differences between now and my first year. They definitely would be startling to my high school self. I'm sure I would have disapproved, but now I really don't feel anything either way. So I'm more scared of coming back to Chicago than I am of going to Paris. Paris will be something new.
I shopped today. Went to the gap on mich. It's crazy how much people will open up to you if you simply smile and make small talk. At the checkout I engaged the cashier in idle chit chat while he rung me up. Well, perhaps that was the wrong thing to do. He handed me the $15 off card I get for my too-big-for-my-budget purchase and said I could use it any time in a month. And then I said I would be in Paris. He definitely launched into the story of how he ate too many pastries last time he was in Paris and how they polished off his wallet as he polished off his plate. That I must stay away from the appetizing looking sandwiches that will never fill me up and stick to the meals that won't make me spend E60 a day on food.
We chatted it up and I swear I had already signed my receipt and all that but couldn't leave the cashier cause we were talking. For perhaps 5 or 10 minutes. There were other people in the line, I know this. I am certain those people hate me.
But yes, I am more wary of coming back to Chicago. For one thing, this past week has been so hectic that I doubt I have been able to adequately say goodbye to all those people I aimed to. I have to pack up my room--get all of my shit out of it. It is going to be someone else's room next quarter, more or less making me homeless. I'm coming back to Chicago with no where to live and with friends who may seem more like strangers than friends by the time I get back.
I know I will get by. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| So my life is in stasis again.
Although this time, perhaps that is going a bit too far. I'm back home, this time in Thailand. No more Korea. My family moved last Christmas, so now I get to swelter in the heat. It's not bad though. At least the leaves don't change colors and the flowers are as vibrant as a child's lollipop all year round. It's rainy season here, but perhaps I took California's summer drought with me, as it has yet to actually rain since I've been here.
And what have I done here? I think I've already spent too much money. Besides the general 'let's go see the doctor' thing my mom is pushing me into, I've gone shopping just about everyday. Scary thing is I'm actually buying all kinds of random shit. I see things and decide they are going into my room next year. Then they find their way into a bag in my hand and a smile on my face.
But if my suitcases coming to Bangkok were already about to burst at the seams, it seems unlikely that I will be able to transport all this shit back to Chicago. UPS is not an option when it'll cost more to mail the items than it did to buy them. Perhaps they will wind up decorating my lovely little room here (ok, not really little).
I got here and discovered that not only has my father turned vegetarian, but he's a vegan now. I mean, how the hell does that happen? I will say, however, that the maid can make some quite astounding vegan dishes. It's a good thing I actually like tofu--when prepared to my specifications.
It has been a hectic summer. I mean, even when I was working I was running around after work with the other interns at this or that. And now I've barely had time to check my e-mail. Makes me happy. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| alright, and now on to this past weekend, eh?
So, some time in the middle of last week the wheels were set in motion for a weekend in the city. The plan was to get a hotel room and stick around the night. And I do mean a hotel room for what turned out to be all 9 of us who went downtown. Saweet, eh?
Anywho, festivities began friday night at--surprise!--my room :). At lunch someone came up with the marvelous idea of everyone chipping in 5 dollars for beer and then a game of poker, betting drinks or something like that. And then the question became whose place to have the fun at. This person's room was getting cleaned today or that person's room was too messy yadda yadda. Turns out my room gets its overhaul on Saturdays. Inadvertently I bring that up, and suddenly I'm planning the party. Meh, whatever.
It was the first night we all got together without going to a bar. Sat around drinking beers, and then someone pulls out cards to play poker. Poker, yeah right. No, we play kings cup and I teach them Chicago-esque rules (as best as I can remember them... unfortunately we didn't have a question master although one card became questions, and another became never have I ever... guess who created the little man ;) ). Anywho, it was a good night. Good enough to push our departure the next day back to 11:30 from what was supposed to be 9:30.
We get going the next day. China town for dim sum, pier 39 and fisherman's warf. Good fun. Damn good fun. We found those little things you throw at the ground that make a little cracking noise. We funned those to death :). And of course the day just disappeared. Dinner, then back to the room (all of us) to preparty and change for going out. A few runs to the liquor store. I don't know who sent the one non-alcoholic to the liquor store, but what was supposed to be my bacardi O (yeah, we havn't had that in ages) became my bacardi silver. With a few shots of vodka in it, of course :).
And then came the bars. Dagmar--I mentioned her last time--has become one of my favorite people simply for her efforts to get me in those places. At one, she left the bar for a smoke and came back with me. Oh well :). The night ended stupidly as we took a cab to the club the liquor store guy recommended, which turned out to be a construction site.
And the breakfast the next day? Aw damn! I do love that cornbeef hash and biscuits and gravy. Golden gate park and sausalito for a bit and then back home to fall asleep for work the next day. Fun times fun times. And this upcomming weekend we aim for a pool-side bbq. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Haha. This weekend rocked
This weekend rocked so much that I don't really care I can hear banging--you know the type--going on upstairs. But before expounding on that, I guess I should go back to my last update and start there?
My mom left ages ago, and so I was left moderately alone out here in the suburbs of San Fransisco (East Bay area I guess). But that was ok, cause I'm not the only intern here working for the gasoline major. And I've actually met some really cool people. But am I getting ahead of myself?
I guess three weeks ago now? or maybe 2, well, some time ago. Tracie came up from Sunnyvale and Gillian came down from Orinda and we had ourselves a nice little Chicago reunion out here in San Ramon and my dorm room. We get dinner at Chilis cause I have a $10 off card for that place and cause I havn't had such food in ages. The waitress was cracked out... or just very new. Gillian and I got sodas which were perpetually refilled... a bit too much. As in, we would be half way through a soda, and she would bring another soda and set it down for when we were done. Oh, did I say another? I shoulda said two more. So Gillian wound up sitting there with like three diet pepsis in front of her just wondering how much she would be expected to drink.
And what would I visit from Tracie be like without Corona? We went to safeway for the "best grocery trip ever" which included the purchase of Coronas, limes and Pepperige Farm Sausalito cookies. Damn good idea, eh? We come back, Tracie dismayed at my lack of cards (um... like we'd ever play kings cup with just the two of us?) and just sit around relaxing with the beer. We chat and Gillian has to head home, so I call up some of the other interns to see what they're up to. And that's how Tracie meets my ct friends. We go to the Irish "pub" (which should have had far less lighting than it did).
Now let me explain San Ramon a little bit. San Ramon is not near any colleges. San Ramon is not near any major night life. San Ramon has probably 3 bars that we actually have access to (by foot). San Ramon has nothing other than a large business park with a bunch of businesses. Yeah.
So we're at the bar, and right in front of the bar is this large pack of middleaged women making all kinds of stupid gestures etc etc. Except I walk in with Tracie and Herman (an Africaans Intern) and Herman is called over to promptly pull down his drawers for the middle aged women's delight. Turns out it's a giant pack of deaf mute women having a night out on the town, getting random guys to flash them or anything else to their fancy.
Besides that though, we all sit around drinking laughing, talking. Go home, sleep, wake up, Tracie and I go to the movies and then Tracie goes home.
Alright, last week, two weeks ago? whenever, Katherine (intern from Kansas) has a friend in town and throws a small get together in her room to polish off all the beer she has. After a little too much of I love the 80's, we head to the bar, this time the Mexican one, then the Irish one. Seriously, it gets kind of old. Same sort of deal happened last Tuesday, Sean's (goes to IIT) birthday. He turned 20, so of course we had to celebrate. But after getting turned away from a pool hall cause of my age we wound up at El Balazo (mexican bar) again. Cept they're carding too. Which is where Dagmar, best chick ever, comes in. Unlike in Chicago, they put bracelets on the people who are 21, so of course she gives me hers after "making friends" with the bouncer. Too bad that night degenerated into a really tedious conversation about nothing.
ok ok, so I think that brings us relatively recent, eh?
So now, this weekend. Friday at lunch we're all sitting around. Sean wants to play poker, someone suggests we go get some beer and play poker with shots of beer. Question arises, where do we play. So and so's room was just cleaned, can't do it there. of course. And what leads me to say that my room gets cleaned (like real cleaned) on Saturday? Who knows, but suddenly the party is at my room. And unlike the other parties the all do, this one lasted.
I can't believe I actually taught Kings cup to most of them. We play some games, some of the dumbest ones ever too, but whatever. Andy has friends from out of town. Hippie-like kids. Roll their own cigarettes, want to smoke pot in my room (I put my foot down), but yes, till like 4 in the morning. That's when everyone realized that we had plans for Saturday beginning at 11.
At 11 yesterday we met in the parking lot to go down to San Francisco. The plan? All 9 of us get an $80 hotel room and have a damn good time in SF. And we did. But I'll talk more about that later? alright :). | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Yes, I know it hasn't been 3 months since my last update, whteva :).
Anyway, work's been ok. It's so much like school, but not. I write reports and give presentations. But half the time I sit around pretending to work, and I'm stuck there all day. I handed in my first assignment last friday and apparently my boss was quite impressed. score for me. Funny how my report then circulated around the office long enough to get e-mailed to Thailand for my dad's viewing. I swear my final papers were 10 times better than that little trifle I handed in. Whateva.
So, moving on, California's ok. My mom was in town but left on Monday to go see my Grandpa in-surprise-Sunnyvale. I have yet to tell Tracie, and she better hear from me first *evil glare.* But yeah, so she was here over the weekend. Went to fisherman's warf and pier 39 and all that jazz. Ate out every night last week (am now nicely stocked with tons of leftovers). Sunday went and saw Around the World in 80 Days... nice fluffy thing :). Fun of course.
So, I have rediscovered TV, but not really. The TV kinda sucks here, or maybe it's just that I havn't watched TV in ages. Meh, whatever. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| that was fun, i guess. i'm in san ramon now, somewhere in the east bay area. and it feels like ages since i left chicago, but y'know, the ages that feel like a few minutes. my job starts tomorrow. wish i knew what i was doing, but i don't. dad says it doesn't matter and that they don't expect me to know what i'm doing, so hopefully that'll be good. and so, the drama of the past few days.
last friday, packing histeria etc etc. i went with my aunt to see harry potter on the imax at navy pier. we'll say the movie was great if strangely drippy-faucety but that seeing my aunt was strange. this is my aunt who actually lives on the south side, closer in geography to me than any one else in my close family. i havn't seen her for a while, and have been meaning to meet up with her. although i would have liked to spend my last night with chicago people, but i called my aunt early in the week and by the time she got back to me we had a day left and i couldn't exactly say "oh gee, sorry." but anyway. so she brought her boyfriend along--he's kind of creepy. whatever.
i get home and nothing is going on. of course i'm surprised, but whatever. everyone else is packing. while i thought i would be getting nicely plastered. i guess it was better to not be getting plastered as it gave me the chance to take a look at where i would be staying this summer and its proximity to work (as I would be walking). so i check on mapquest where it is relative to where i need to be, and guess what, it's 3 miles away. that's about 3 miles more than i want, especially since i was promised it was within walking distance. so i look around and discover a different address for my hotel online. this one is 3 minutes from where i am working. but the phone number is completely different as well.
turns out the phone number i was given for this hotel was really for the same hotel chain but in a different city. fuck? and at 2 in the morning, there wasn't much i could do. luckily i was able to wake up early yesterday, cancel that reservation and make a reservation at this hotel for today moving on, but i flew out yesterday, so got a reservation at another hotel in the area for last night.
now i'm at the hotel i'm staying in, and i'm wondering whether i'd much prefer to stay at the other hotel. this one, yes, has a kitchen, but it's also like half the size of that one, and that one had a whirlpool tub in the corner. of course it was also a tad more expensive than this one. Whatever.
crazy as hell, and i wonder if gillian's in town! :). | | comments: Leave a comment |
| woohoo! ok, so I'm going to kinda update for real. As in tell people what's going on in my life or what has happened recently.
Last Saturday was the Samahan show. For a couple weeks up until that day, we prettymuch practiced every night for ever increasing lengths of time. Me, I was in about 4 dances, fun stuff eh? Apparently I did well, cause everyone has told me I did--wait, no, I Know I did well. Funny thing is, three of my dances were no not quite ready by a week before the show. My big dance, Tinikling, the national dance of the Philippines (you dance between two bamboo sticks which slam together on every third beat and do all sorts of crazy formations) was fine, except by the middle of it I would get insanely winded and then the fast part would start up and we would all fuck up. I'd step on a stick or something and then we'd miss two eight counts and be lost in the dance. It didn't help that we kept changing the dance. Good thing was that me and my partner were the middle dancers, so prettymuch we were the group that people would be watching the most, and we were probably also the best group. Anyway, that being said, it didn't look good for the performance. We kept reminding each other to not swear when we fucked up royally. Thing is, we didn't fuck up at all. During the performance we were flawless! That's right, who is a Tinikling Expert Extraordinair? Me obviously. Who cares bout the rest of the dances, hooha!
Thing is, my legs were more or less out of comission (more cause of the after part than anything else) for the early part of this week. But whatever. Now then, not sure whether I've written this yet in here, but one week I managed to get two jobs--one internship for the summer, and one on campus job for now. I'm working in the College Programming Office doing all kinds of graphic stuff. Something tells me that this would "supa excellent!" if I aimed to be a... damn I can't think of the word... but it's a person who designs stuff as opposed to a judge or executive or something. My internship though is in California (around San Fransisco) with ChevronTexaco as a marketing genius. Ok perhaps that's not the actual title, but we all know that's what's going to happen. It'll be cool off doing my own thing and getting paid to do it. Cept I might get lonely. People better come visit my sorry ass.
Anyway, tonite was crazy fun. It rained. Ok, we'll start at about 6:40 when I had to dash to my COUP meeting. They gave me the marketing position for next year (as if there was a question about that) and then I had to run off to this crazy Korean movie for my Korean Civ class. Thing is, in the fifteen minutes it took me to do all that COUP stuff, the slight drizzle outside became a torrential downpour. Who didn't have an umbrella? So, I ran across campus to sit, drenched, and watch this crazy Korean movie (which was boring as hell). So, i come home and my clothes are still more or less drenched. I find people and it starts raining like mad again. Time to go play in the rain. I was wet already, so why not? We go to bartmart, we come home, we go play in the courtyard. Oh gawd! It starts off with three of us just hitting around a volleyball. By the time we got like 10 people out there the volleyball had become too heavy due to the rain to be hit around and just became our makeshift soccer ball which we continually kicked around all the while tackling each other into the mud or simply just falling down like stupid asses. Damn, brings up good memories of our all out snow ball fight last year. They're wonderful because of their insane degree of letting go and flowing. Aw gee. If only more nights could be like that. And this is why I like to have friends.
Since I'm not prone to simply relaying the boring details of my life... I wish I had more time to myself this quarter. Or I wish I didn't have to run into people all the time and be on for them. There are certain people I know I can be off to (and often this results in me being a complete bastard... just gotta realize I recharge from being alone or as alone as I can get), but it kinda makes me feel bad when I am. Fucked up eh?
Y'know. I think I'm done with this entry. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I finally update, eh?
so what is there to say? i've finished most of my work for this week. just a tiny response tomorrow and a little midterm friday and then a ginormous show saturday which we have rehearsals for more or less everyday this week. ok. so, things have become just a little bit more hecktic. I'm excited though. I have an internship lined up for this summer in sunny ole California, San Ramon, some suburb of San Francisco. I'll have time at the end of my summer to go off to Thailand and have fun with Mei (good time, eh?) and then return next year to a single in Max P.
Alright, so perhaps that last little thing is not exactly what I'm looking forward to. Max P is convenient, new, clean, not falling apart. So many apartments around here are the opposite of those things. But there's something just a little more grown up about them, y'know? And then there's a kitchen. I doubt Sean, Brian, JP and Tracie would mind my using their kitchen, but even so, it won't be mine. It would be nice. At a time I contemplated setting up on my own, but of course that really isn't possible. I guess I'll know how that feels at the end of this summer after living alone for the extent of my Internship.
It should be fun though. Gillian lives near there as does Tracie, and I do have some old friends around there (never mind I havn't talked to them in ages) as well as some relatives. San Fransisco's an awesome place. Right? I want to go, right? I don't ever know what I want, do I?
I've been accepted to study abroad in France next winter. Yes, selected. We have this craziness where if you want to study abroad there is a competitive application. Thing is, I'm not sure I want to go. I'll probably wind up going, but why? I wrote an essay on why, and I must admit it was complete bs. At least I know that I can still bs well.
I need to lose weight. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| There is nothing to talk about....
1. Go into your LJ's archives.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | avenue q and other random musicals | | Time: | 09:03 pm |
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| Alright Michelle, you want your update? fine, here it is.
So, for spring break I went to New York. Excellent, eh? Yes. A fun time, for the most part. Even being locked out all night long was fun. And since that's probably the most interesting thing that happened (to a third party), that's what I'll tell all you busybodies about ;).
Michelle's school is really quite jesuit. And what does this mean? Well, males and females may not cohabitate. As such, there are rules up barring males from spending the night with females. Which really is just an inconvenience. All females have male friends who will sign in their male friends from out of the school and the same can be said for all males. All that had to be done was that the male friend would come down and be all "yeah, sure, this is my guest" for the guest of the opposite gender to spend the night. Which was a perfectly fine plan until the last night. The last night? Well, Michelle's friend was nowhere to be found. And I was unable to get into the building. This was at like 2 or 3 in the morning... meaning what? Meaning I had the wonderful pleasure of walking around all night with Michelle in the rain until 6:30 when we could finally get back into the dorm. Nuts, eh? Highlight of the night? Looking like homeless people as Michelle counted out her change in order to buy a bottle of water from the 24/7 deli.
Alright. So that out of the way, what should we talk about now? Let's talk winter quarter. Or just winter. I wonder if I have sad. hmm. I don't think I do, but Breandan says otherwise. Or at least that I become a different person in the winter. Whateva? Ok, I thought this would be something fun to do, but it seems the gin and juice has finally sunk in, and I have much more fun things to do. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| i think i've finally discovered that i actually like myself. I like what I do and who I am. I like how I cope sometimes and just can't cope at others, but in the end things get done. So I've been juggling being social and being the psycho study lizard I usually am for the past few days. Now what does this say? I've had relatively social things to do all weekend/reading period. Wednesday was a get drunk with Nancy's friend Potts and the rest of the crew day. Thursday was supposed to be a day downtown with Kat (grrr, Kat), which became a day of socializing here, and eating way too much somehow. And Friday was Nina time and going to the liquor store etc. Today rocked. Seriously, JP's aunt and uncle are terribly cool. We get there, me, Haley and JP, and immediately we're offered beers (corona with lime!). And I swear, I'd finish a beer and suddenly there'd be a new one in front of me. And they were terribly great company. But on top of this it is finals week next week, and I can say that i'm on top of things. I am more or less done with music, I finished my music paper this morning, reviewed econ yesterday and the day before and reviewed about half of my stat stuff today. And so, I can say, yay for me!
and now, it's back to stat woohoo! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I have been petitioned for a for real entry, so here it it. let's see. what can i say? i have this paper to write, which isn't a terrible hassle in itself, the only issue is that it has to be done, and being done it is, slowly though. other than that? nothing new.
I'm going to be dancing for dance marathon, a fund raiser here on campus led by coup which should be fun... although i do need to find money somewhere. anyone feel like pledgin me some cash? goes to pediatric aids fund of some kind? there is talk about where people will be living next year. i really wish such talk was unnecessary. i mean, can't we just live this year? but obviously that's not the case. sometimes i just think i should live in some unknown corner of cobb. hey, i'd be right next to most classes and i'd have privacy... and maybe i could just hide myself away and never deal with anyone ever again. wasn't life so much simpler when i didn't give a damn about other people and lived more or less as a loner.
it's one thing i hate and love at the same time. It's the reason i don't want to go home and the reason i do want to go home. when i'm in the state of solitude i don't care that other people exist and don't seek them out, but when i'm with other people i don't want to lose that either. is the fear even worth it? relegation to being alone has been much of my life, i know how to cope with it and i have learned how to enjoy it. but i don't want to return to thinking everyone sucks, perhaps that's just a little too far. no, i aim to live with people next year. i guess the question is does anyone aim to live with me?
this saturday i'm supposed to go downtown with gillian. i really hope that goes through. i am going downtown no matter, but it'd be cool to go off with her again and just do something together. i am going downtown, screw econ problem set, stat homework and music composition... stupid music composition. i wanted to write lyrics to my song... only issue is that now that i am, the professor wants it performed with the lyrics, meaning i'm probably gonna have to sing them and play the song (considering i'm not going to find a vocalist for monday to bring to class with me). whateva.
i wonder what i truly desire. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | and now for the second time this year i have rediscovered how much i truly love to play with adobe photoshop. first time, jp was making the mardi gras posters and asked for my help. i prettymuch stole the project from him, designing the poster almost from scratch. and now he made the mistake (well... not really mistake ;) ) of asking my help on these dance marathon posters... so i stole the project again. but i honestly do love this. i made this. i made the mardi gras poster, i'm making the dance marathon poster. roar! pretty colors here i come! wahahahaha. so maybe it'll cost the coup people a pretty penny... but hey, isn't a pretty penny worth some pretty posters? ah. ok, now to... more exciting prospects? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| whoa missy. you think i'm blaming you? reread. i need change, but it's not going to happen especially if--meaning if i spend 24/7 with y'all i will be at the reg immediately after dinner, and order leona's on friday. does this say that because of you nothing will change? there is an element of self criticism in all i write, you think i'm so optimistic a person so as to find myself flawless? want issues? dependency. there. i have a hard time finding anything i actually want to do without someone else who is doing it too. i need change but it's not going to happen, cause as much as people change, it's never a directed change. i can't just push someone in the direction i want.
and y'know what? i did pile it on his desk, but that wasn't good for him. i fucked that up. i have yet to clean his desk this year. something other people have not restrained themselves from. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i should stop letting these interruptions get in the way.
just did an RA interview. too bad i can't tell y'all bout the prospective RA due to confidentiality, but whatever. oh wait... i have not much more to say. muahahah. er... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| alright, so, dinner was fine. cept there was no gill. but whatever. there was an ashley and a matti, so that was cool anyway. ok, on to the rest of my entry. so, in a funk now. i'm sure that part of it is this term paper looming over my head. i could be more screwed though, so that's actually not so bad. i think i just want to change too many things. i want to have a kitchen already. i want to have a clean room dammit... and seriously, i'm not asking for much more than a semi-clear desk really. just for a little, y'know, a tad more effort? like y'know those shoes that have been in the middle of the room for a week now? yeah, closet them. and the rest of the shit spilling out of that drawer/shelf there? put it back in the shelf. and the laundry that should go in the corner? throw it in the corner. it's not hard. especially the socks. i could perhaps go ballistic, but that wouldn't change a thing.
and y'know, perhaps a little more understanding? like, when going to bed, perhaps like a warning before the lights just suddenly go off? maybe a little care too.
saturday was woozy. i don't exactly know why, but it was. perhaps this head cold thing isn't so good or such. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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